|
DATING TIPS MAILBAG: What Women Want In A Man
By David DeAngelo
Click
here to get the free Dating Tips newsletter and download the eBook
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I just bought the advanced CD series & it's
amazing what a difference they make over the book. Being able to listen on the
way to work, whilst out doing chores, etc. is cool. I can feel the confidence
building inside me, it's like my own personal coach.
The C&F doesn't come naturally to me at present
so I've taken your advice and am using the internet as a 'woman simulator' in
order to practice. I've had mixed results so far, I think a few took the
teasing the wrong way as some of them would suddenly stop replying.
I must be better at the C&F than I thought
though. The first time I went on this site I was chatting to a few girls and
one of them ended up giving me her mobile and asking if we could go for coffee
before I had chance to. Anyway my question: You suggest that a date should
simply be 'tea & stimulating conversation', which for all of the reasons
you give makes perfect sense to me. But once I've done the tea &
conversation with this girl, do you have any suggestions for other dates where
I can come across as the 'lover' instead of the 'provider'. The only one where
I wouldn't end up having to shell out (buy her stuff) that I can think of is a
walk along the river or something, but that's rather dependant on the weather.
Thanks for changing my life.
AIB - London UK
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, well you're welcome for the "changing your life"
thing. Glad to help.
Now, you're kind of mixing up a couple of concepts
that I never intended to "depend" on one another...
If you want to know where to take a woman for dates,
that shouldn't be confused with whether or not you come across as a "lover"
personality, and not a "provider" personality to her.
Let me ask you something... what is a "date"?
What do you think that the purpose of a "date" is?
Now, I call my material "Double Your Dating", but
what I DON'T mean is "take women out to dinner twice as much as you used to".
The word "Dating" is simply a word that all of us
guys understand to mean "romantic interactions with women".
So I use it.
But if you want to have more romantic interactions
with women, that does NOT mean that you need to "take women out on dates" in
order to do it.
Are you with me?
I mean, what do couples do a year after they get
together...?
They stay home most of the time, do normal things
like go shopping, and generally behave like they did before they met.
This whole "going out to dinner" ritual is really an
amazing concept. It's awesome how powerful it is... and how guys really believe
that they need to do it (or similar things) in order to get a woman's attention
in a romantic way.
Here's the bottom line:
If you want a woman to think of you as a "lover",
then BE ONE.
If you want her to think of you as a provider, then
just BE ONE.
What you haven't quite realized fully yet is that
when you know how to trigger ATTRACTION in a woman, all the "normal" rules go
away.
If a woman feels that powerful emotional ATTRACTION
for you, then she'll do ANYTHING with you... just to be in your presence and
have your attention.
If you have dialed up the ATTRACTION, then all you
need to say is "come over here".
No dates required.
Now, if you buy her dinner 10 times, call her 3 times
a day, and chase her around, then it will be EXPECTED that you continue this
pattern... and provide for her.
NOTE: If you're buying a woman dinner twice a week,
giving her flowers, calling her every day, and basically "chasing" her, then
you can be about 80% sure that there's another guy in the picture... but guess
what? He's the one who SHE calls, and he's the one who says "Come over later,
I'm busy now"... no dates required.
If you want to be a LOVER to a woman, then DO IT.
You don't need to wait until the third time out for
coffee or tea.
You'll learn that ATTRACTION doesn't have a timeline.
It happens VERY QUICKLY, if you know how to trigger
it... and you don't need a lot of "date ideas" once you do.
And now that I've avoided your question for a page or
two, let me answer with this:
I often take women to do "regular" things with me.
I'll take them to the grocery store to shop with me, out to the mall to pick
things up, and down to the bookstore to buy a book.
First, start BEING the LOVER immediately.
Then, notice how women DON'T CARE what you do
together, as long as she's with you.
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
Just wanted to say that after reading your material,
I experienced a mental shift. I now see situations in terms of: was I
self-referenced (C & F Man) or externally referenced (wussie boy)? It is
now very clear that success in anything comes to leaders not followers and
women hate dealing with followers. For example look at little boys dealing with
little girls when they are playing together. They boss them around, make them
play by their rules and those girls grow up expecting men to lead them. Just
watch any John Garfield or Lee Marvin movie. Leaders get the girl, wussies get
to be used and discarded. I've made my choice.
Thanks David
E from Chi
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Good. Now help me get the word out to the other 3
billion guys on the planet.
You're right. Women don't like men who are FOLLOWERS.
Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who are FOLLOWERS.
But guess what? Most men FOLLOW anyway.
Thanks for reminding us that we need to LEAD. Leading
creates ATTRACTION. Following creates the curious dry feeling.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave-- I definitely have to give it to you. You are
"da shizznitt", lol. Your DYD dvd series has really changed my entire life. I
now feel like I am in control of "My World". I was a little hesitant about
buying your product... but I just said "What the Hell...What can I loose???" I
am military and in my spare time I am a bartender. You know what that means...
I see females out the izzass, lol. I was working one night and a female came up
to one of my fellow bartenders to order something and while getting her
drink... she asked told him... " all these guys are staring at me. Do you think
i'm cute?" Now normally if I were in his shoes and hadn't learned what you
taught me... I would have melted and told her that she was the finest thing to
step foot on this base... case in point...that was what he said. He just bent
down unzipped his pants and practically handed her his nuts. Hence, her hands
being the nutcracker. I interrupted them while he was "dazed and confused" and
told her "Actually they're looking at that big pimple on your forehead. She
stopped and turned towards me and laughed and hit me on the arm. Then I told
her not to get mad cuz I was cuter than she. She smiled and for some odd
reason... she could not keep herself away from the bar. I just pretended that
she was one of my friends that I tease all the time and just called her on
everything that she did. Man... I couldn't believe that she was really eating
this up!!! The other bartender that she was talking to first, couldn't believe
that I was doing this!!! He.... for some odd reason didn't GET what was going
on... It was like jets flying over his head. And to show that his nuts belonged
to her... he just kept trying to compliment her. She just glanced at him smiled
and quickly turned her head to pay him no mind. I got her e-mail and number and
she has been like putty in my hands for the past three months. I have to give
it to you, Dave. You da man!!! I'm not a selfish person...so I gave him your
e-mail address and hopefully he'll get your system and realize what he's been
doing wrong. I should give him her e-mail address so that he can ask for his
balls back, lol. But... for those who have doubts about Dave's system... I'm
living proof of success.
Thanks Dave!!!
JR - Mexico
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, first of all, I think that you must have some
kind of bizarre NUT OBSESSION, dude.
And it's not right.
But hey, fortunately you're on the right side of the
"don't hand them over" equation, so everything seems like it might be all right
for you.
You've given some great examples of how to get an
attractive woman's attention, tease her, and play with her to "spark" that
initial sexual tension and "chemistry".
Now make sure you keep it up so you're not writing me
in 3 more months with the "She used the Trojan Horse De-Nutting Technique" on
me.
***QUESTION***
Hey Man, What has happened to women's standards? All
the beautiful babes with no neck dorks! I am a good looking guy and I can't
even get a phone number. They go out with guys that weigh like 300 lbs and
dress like slobs. I wear nice clothes and drive a nice car and I can't get a
single date. Maybe it is where I live. In order to get a date I will have to
gain 200 lbs and have someone break my nose so I am ugly enough for some girl
to date me. American girls suck! They have no taste anymore!
I give up!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
No, I think that the problem is that you whine like a
whipped Bitch.
Women can smell a "victim" attitude 100 miles away,
and it IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.
Women's "standards" are just fine.
The problem isn't them, it's YOU.
Now do yourself a favor and quit ACTING like a little
girl, and DO SOMETHING about your situation.
What, do you think that all the average and ugly guys
out there who have HOT girlfriends are getting them by being ugly?
The answer is "No, they're not".
These guys are getting the babes because they know
how to make the women feel ATTRACTION.
Trust me, I know quite a few guys who are NOT exactly
the picture of "handsome"... but these guys get a lot of women.
Why?
Because they KNOW HOW.
Now quit whining, and go LEARN.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dear Dr. D, Just wanted to drop you a quick note. I
am a 34 year old and divorced using your E-book to learn how to get back into
the game. Since I was raised by my parents to be a nice guy, submissive, wussy,
it has been a challenge to overcome these self-destructive traits---but I am
gaining ground every day. Also, I don't have any natural ability for C&F.
For the most part I am quiet and reserved----so I have needed to re-train
myself in that area also. You have given me a good start by explaining
attraction and what women want.
I want to stress the importance of "practice". It's
the only way to quickly improve your inner and outer game. What has helped me
is practicing on an old girlfriend. I am sure many of your students like me
have a woman that just won't let you go from an old relationship. So, I have
not completely ended it for sex and companionship and she keeps me around for
sex and emotional support.
Anyway----to my amazing weekend: Saturday, I went out
with the old girlfriend and busted on her and challenged her on many issues all
night. My old self would have shut up and zoned out---not this time. I didn't
put up with any of her nonsense. It ended at my place and we had an amazing
double session. She is now hooked more than ever even though she knows I am
seeing other people. She can't help herself. I have triggered the attraction
mechanism and more importantly I know what I did to accomplish that. Sunday I
spent the day with a cute girl who had responded to my internet ad. We had only
been out once before. I played the game---didn't act overly sexually
interested, just enough....I used the C&F when I could, but basically kept
cool. She offered to pay our lunch/cocktail bill. My old self would have
foolishly denied her offer---thinking I was the man, thinking I was being
chivalrous (how foolish ;). This time I accepted without hesitation. Once back
at my place I used the start and stop technique. I would get her hot, then I
would back off. She would stop my hand from reaching too far so I decided that
I wasn't going to push it and that tonight might not be "the night" with her so
I was very relaxed. At 10:00 she was getting ready to leave. We started making
out while saying goodbye----next thing I know , we were in the bedroom. It was
amazing. The fun lasted all night. Today I am tired with a smile on my face. I
know it worked out because I put the proper groundwork in place. By turning my
sexual advances on and then off-----it really got to her. Acting as if I was
evaluating her...the whole thing. Thank you for pointing me in the right
direction, I am starting to get it!!! Literally ;)
C
Fort Lauderdale, Fl
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, you really are starting to GET IT.
And you are RIGHT ON.
This stuff takes practice and real-world experience
using it before you really "get it".
Too many guys are just too damned overly-analytical,
and want to know how to do EVERYTHING before they do ANYTHING.
I used to be this way... and it cost me a lot of time
and energy.
It's so amazing to actually get out there and SEE
results right in front of your eyes. It gets you excited and willing to try
more things... and it prepares you for the future... for situations that are
REALLY important.
Get out there and use this stuff.
Start NOW.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
What does it mean when a woman says she wants to
"work on herself" before she can have a relationship?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The literal translation for this is:
"I DON'T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU, BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU WITHOUT HURTING YOUR LITTLE WUSSY BOY GIRLIE FEELINGS."
Any of the following:
"I need time alone right now."
"I need to find me first."
"Let's just be friends for now."
...etc. mean:
"I DON'T FEEL ATTRACTION."
That's the bottom line.
The problem is YOU, not HER.
Don't be surprised if this same girl either IS or
STARTS dating another guy seriously soon.
If you're hearing this kind of thing often, then you
need to take it as a sign that you're not triggering ATTRACTION inside of
women... and, more importantly, that you need to LEARN HOW.
I recommend my Advanced Dating Techniques Program.
This will help eliminate these types of comments from
women once and for all.
Here, let me brag for a minute...
I'm sitting here thinking about it, and I can't
remember a woman saying one of these things to me in YEARS.
***QUESTION***
Mr. Dave!
You are the man! I have been getting your emails for
about 8 months now I belive and have read your book! Just yesterday I was in
the store looking at CD's and I noticed these two beautiful girls walking
around and they would constantly look over towards me. As I wandered around the
store more I noticed that they seemed to always show up wherever I was. So I
stopped them and asked the girl that I was more attracted to "Excuse me but i'm
going to have to ask you to stop stalking me." She looked at her friend like
'What is this boy talking about' and then she asked me for my name. I
immediately answered "Do you really think i'm just going to give my name out to
a stalker?" once again she looked like she couldn't believe I was talking to
her this way. We talked about five more minutes and then I told her I had to
go. She asked me if I wanted her number so we could continue the conversation.
I pretended to think about it and then told her "I'm sorry but I'm just going
to be way too busy to find time to call you. So If you promise to stop stalking
me i'll give you my number and you can try and catch me when I have a few
minutes of free time to talk." She eagerly took my number and when I got home
about an hour later she had already left a message on my machine to see if I
could go out with her this weekend!
I was so happy because I was curious too see if I
reversed the three minute phone number to give away my number instead of
getting hers would work and it did! Anyway on to my question. As I stated this
girl was with a friend at the store who was also very attractive and was there
the whole time I was hitting up her friend. Is there anyway in these situations
where you can get both girls numbers?
AF- AK
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice "reverse stalker" move.
I say things like this to women all the time, and
they generally love it.
To answer your question, YES, there's an easy way to
get both girls' phone numbers.
ASK.
Then call and ask them BOTH to come join you for a
cup of tea.
Kill two birds with one stone.
Then, over tea you can decide which one you like
more.
I've had friends who have been in similar situations
report back that sometimes both women will like you... and EACH OTHER as well.
I mean, what do you have to lose? 2 minutes of
getting a phone number?
Look, your question was based in fear.
Fear that you'd offend one or both of the women, and
then lose everything.
The fact is that you never HAD anything.
A phone number is easy to get. If you feel like
asking both women for their numbers, do it. If you feel like asking them both
to join you for tea, do it.
You get to make the rules.
Click
here to get the free Dating Tips newsletter and download the eBook
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
I received your DVD series about a month ago and have
watched it in its entirety a few times. I've noticed a strange circumstance
since then, similar to what Napoleon Hill says about how when you choose a
definite major purpose in life, ways and means of attaining that purpose seem
to magically appear to you. When I've been in situations where I wasn't
actually interacting with a woman and laying on the C&F, they've still been
acting attracted to me despite the fact that I consciously did NOTHING in these
situations. For example:
- A bar/restaurant I hit about once a week has a very
hot waitress staff, and one in particular is a Pam Anderson clone who's always
being stared at and complimented by all the wussy guys. She's been working at
least a dozen times that I've been in there but has never acted like she even
noticed me until the last time (since I've watched the DVDs) and she kept
looking at me, over and over again, despite the fact that I did NOTHING
different. Finally I gave her the "wrinkled brow" suspicious look and she got
all self-conscious, said "what?" and I came right back with "if you're gonna be
that forward and flirty with me you could've at least done your hair up a
little better" and then it was ON!
- I met some friends for happy hour and a very hot
chick was sitting at a table holding some guy's hand. Every other guy in the
place was staring at her and she was so hot that I even overheard some of the
waitresses trashing her. The thing is, I had been watching the DVDs that same
day and came walking in with a particularly cocky swagger and the wrinkled brow
and she stared me down the whole way in. Then she would not stop looking over
at me while she was holding this dude's hand, he was obviously a Wussy since he
saw what was going on and did nothing (I guess he's the guy she uses for free
dinners while she's banging the real men). At one point she even took the long
way to the bathroom to walk by me and flirt but with the Wussy watching there
was no op to get the info... hopefully I run into her again.
It's obvious that just watching the DVD series gives
one an aura of confidence, since I did nothing in these situations but show up.
Kinda like reading Comedy Writing Secrets then suddenly being funnier without
actually thinking about it and trying. Simply watching and learning this
material opens doors for you without trying!
FR
Phoenix
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, you're tapping into the power of the mind here.
One of the BIG benefits of learning all of the
material that I teach in my programs is the changes that naturally occur inside
your mind.
Once you see things differently, you begin to BEHAVE
differently as well. And it will happen automatically.
Now, I don't mean to sound new-agey here, but this is
the reality of the situation.
Women can pick up on subtle body language that most
men don't even know EXISTS.
When you start "mentally rehearsing" some of the
things you learn from my programs, you will automatically act differently when
you're in future situations with women.
Great job, and keep it up.
And make sure you send in some future Success
Stories, as I'm sure you're going to have many.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
Blah blah blah, I shamelessly compliment you, you
feel like a deity... there we're done.
Your book would be worth it's weight in gold, even if
it were made of lead! I stumbled onto your site by accident. A month before, I
was Let's Just BeFriended for being "too nice", and this was with an UGLY thing
too! eh... I was desperate. I actually laughed at those "losers" for getting
slapped on the arm and called a**hole, and later, I thought the chicks were
idiots for dating them!! I'm better now. After reading your book it was like
the heavens were parted and g*d HIMself bitch slapped the wuss right out of me!
Thanks.
Not only am I getting slapped, bitten, chewed on, and
fought over, I am LOVING it too! Just the other day I was in a bookstore, and
an old friend (read "hot chick") of mine came in, I thought, 'hey I am here
just being my new self, lets try something', so I walked over to her, said hi,
and then said "I didn't expect to see a beautiful young woman here" she said
"aww that's so sweet" (read "you wussy") but then I did something that has been
working really well for me, I busted on her. I said "maybe I still will" Slap
on arm, AND big smile. She was wearing this rather large skirt with ruffles, so
I said "wow... I didn't know the parachute look was still in" while obviously
staring at it. Another slap on arm, this time laughing. Later she asked if I
got my hair cut (I hadn't) she said it "whatever it is, its really attractive."
There is this coffee shop in the store, so we had "stimulating conversation" a
little while went by, and she asked me to go to her car with her, so she could
"show me a new piece of art." well needless to say, we are still "appreciating
art" together, and its been two months!
So the question is... Will complimenting the ladies
then busting on whatever I just complimented work the same as if not
complimenting at all?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, one of my favorites...
Giving a woman a compliment, then putting a
backhanded twist on it.
"Wow, your shoes are cute. Did you buy them new?"
"Your hair is pretty. Did your mom do it for you?"
"Nice car. If you're homeless."
Pick up any modern men's magazine and you'll get a
bunch of good ideas for this type of thing.
Cocky & Funny can be very powerful once you learn
how to use it. Great example, and thank you.
Click
here to get the free Dating Tips newsletter and download the eBook
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave, I have been reading your emails and have
purchased your ebook and have read and studied from both. I would 'study' areas
I felt I was weak in or would that be wussy in, to improve, naturally, but
would read everything for as much knowledge as I could absorb. Well, I have a
success story but with a slight twist to it. The twist is my success was due to
playing off of 2 other guys' failures.
I went to a club in a part of town I normally do not
go to. Not that it is a bad part of town I just never thought of going there. I
went by myself, so on my own, no one for moral support, in a place I have never
been before. Talk about giving your ideas the acid test, this was going to be
it. I was looking down at the dance floor getting into the music and noticed
behind me two girls sitting at a table. I then noticed 2 guys approach and one
started to talk to one of the girls. The other guy was just standing there
looking at girl #2 trying to get up the nerve to say something, from what I
could tell, since I was that way myself in a not so distant past. I just turned
away and didn't pay much attention but after 10 mins or so the same guy talking
to girl #1 is not making any headway. Guy 2 still had his wuss game going so no
change there. I decided to ask girl # 2 to dance but wanted to get her
attention and interest, as well. So I leaned over and said, "While that guy is
trying to hustle your friend, whom, I might he is not doing very well, would
you like to dance?" Well, this girl just cracked up laughing, she did not want
to dance but did want to talk more. She went on to say that there is nothing he
could say or do at this point to make her want to dance or go out with him. He
just doesn't get it, she said. I went on to say I know it is crowded and a bit
loud here but one should understand NO easy enough. She agreed and went on to
mention how much of a loser his friend is just standing there. I then
remembered a statement someone used in an email of yours and thought I would
use it myself. I said to girl #2 "what's that smell, do you smell that?" She
replies, "What smell?" I said, "The smell of desperation." Well, Dave, that
girl laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. I helped her up and when she
told me she had to tell her girl friend that and when she leaned over to talk
to her I just turned away and went back to looking at the people dancing.
After a bit this girl came up to me and said look at
those losers they are just standing on the dance floor while people are dancing
around them. They did look pretty pathetic. We talked a bit and I asked her
name but I did not quite understand it since she was Latin and had a Latin name
I could not make out what she said, what with all the loud music and noise.
Just then some friends of hers and her girl friend's came in and she started to
talk to them so again I just turned away and watched people on the dance floor.
After a bit she came back and grabbed my arm and said come on I want to
introduce you to my friends. After she introduces everyone to me I turn to her
and ask what was your name again? Is it ludicrous? She just busted up laughing
again and tried to tell me her name again. By now, she is holding my hand and
we started dancing right there. We talked a bit and I told her she has to write
her name down so I can pronounce correctly when I call her. She say's, "Call
me?" I said, "Yes, since you are writing your name down you might as well give
me your number. How else am I going to call you? Oh, and if you have email you
might as well give me that also."
She said, that it was cool meeting me and gave me a
hug and kiss. She then went back to her friends and I just turned away and
called it a night.
It may not have been nice to use the 2 guys wuss
behavior to my advantage but it worked.
N from Miami Beach
>>>MY COMMENTS:
LOL... so you went off secretly to a bar alone...
hoping that no one would see you testing the materials out for yourself... lol.
Yea, sometimes it's rough when other guys act like
Wussy Jackasses...
But hey, it makes your life easier and more fun!
So what the hell, right?
I have to say, one of my personal favorite things to
do with women I've just met is make fun of how other guys are acting.
It's particularly fun in these bar-type situations,
where you can watch one interaction after another.
Most guys suck at approaching women, and it makes for
great humor and conversation.
Of course, talking about how terrible other guys are
INSTANTLY separates you from the herd, and kind of puts you in the "NON-WUSS"
category all by itself.
Another personal favorite of mine is to tell a girl
that she should get together with one of the guys that is acting like a
jackass.
"I think you and that Wuss-Boy over there would make
a cute couple. He looks like he needs a mom like you to tell him what to do..."
etc.
You've done a great job here, now keep it up.
And thanks for the great example. Always remember in
these situations that a big scoop of COCKY & FUNNY will make things go
well.
In this Mailbag you've heard from a
lot of guys who are using my eBook "Double Your Dating" to improve their
success with women and dating. It comes with three additional free bonus
booklets, and it's a complete introduction to my principles and techniques. Of
course, it also comes with a 100% guarantee. Go download your copy here... you
can be reading it in literally a few minutes from right now. And be sure to
sign up for my free newsletter while you're at it. You can do both here:
Click
here to get the free Dating Tips newsletter and download the eBook
____________________________________________________
David DeAngelo is the author of "Double
Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women",
and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and
dating.
_________________________________________________________________
Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All
Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used
by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.
|